Musing on Shadows

As the sun hung low in west, my shadow lurked along the walls. The sky totally crimson, thanks to Doppler shift towards red zone of visible spectrum with lessening frequency to the perceptible eyes.It still didn’t seemed to have any effect on diluting the umbral section of projection. Owing to the canvas it fell on, the silhouette manifested itself into polymorphic form. Sometime it moved swiftly and later it stood still like dark permanent patch. Shadows are indeed mystery. It is dimensionless, mass less has no density but yet it is present. No form of matter can represent it.

I remember reading a story about how sun god and his wife got into rift because of constant heat he emanated. Finally she had had enough and left him by leaving her shadow in her place. Later on when sun god learned about it he went on a quest to find his wife, and finally found her in form of horse without a shadow. Not only that, even it is said in Ramayan, that Devi Sita was switched with her shadow before Ravan abducted her. Coming to think of it if that was the case, then whole incident of war that ensued was big much ado for nothing. Shadow has prominent place in mythology, especially Shadow beings is mentioned both in folklore and popular culture. There is one line of thinking calling shadow being as the Grey aliens a two dimensional creature. This idea of two dimensional creature though sound very absurd is equally plausible. Because as we humans are three dimensional creatures, we can’t therefore fathom the world which is sandwiched between two three dimensional cubes and its entire essence is within the bounds of that plane. So let’s give shadow beings a benefit of doubt.
Talking about shadow, Wayang Kulit comes first in my mind. It is a form of shadow Puppet Theater that is popular in Indonesia. With compelling story in form of shadow art the entire amalgam is real feast. Meanwhile according to Choctaw mythology, a native American tribe, there are two forms of shadows “shilup” and “shilombish”. Shilup is inside shadow while one that wanders with us is shilombish. When we die shilombish simply wander around as eternal damnation. How morbid.
Besides, there are shadow deals, shadow meeting and shadow relationship, which as being a citizen of poor and corrupt nation we all are well aware of. Also there is shadow pricing, which is actually a physical representation of Lagrangian multiplier in optimization problem, and is a foundation of entire aspiration for welfare state. 
As I was musing suddenly the shadow disappeared into thin air with looming darkness. All of sudden I wondered perhaps during night we reciprocate shadow people as there shadow and it is day there in shadow land.

Preface of Tryst with Inner Guilt (My short story collection published)

We are always told that the world is made of two sides - a good and bad. But do we really know which one is good and which one is bad? In constant struggle for proving ourselves good and others bad unbeknownst we inadvertently all  turn ugly. And this ugliness is what keeping the world from becoming beautiful. So at the end  it's not about becoming good or bad it's about not turning ugly.

I wrote these stories during one of the darkest period of my life. Rudderless. Without any Direction. Why I wrote I simply don't know. I guess I was just trying to discover my inner self. At this moment I would like to take time to thank my publisher for bringing this as a book. I would like to convey my regards to the editors of The Kathmandu Post who without any deliberation without any interaction what's so ever published some of these stories in their paper. Their kindness encouraged me to write more. And I would like to thank my esteemed teacher Mr. Subash Dhungel for time and again pushing me to get this published. Also I would like to extend my gratitude to Prof. Dr. D.P Bhandari for his kind foreword and Prof. Dr. B. D. Chataut who gave me his invaluable advise.

Finally this book is dedicated to my family especially to my father who had always been my rock and my mother who has been fighting with Alzheimer for so long. Oh how I really wish she could read it just for once.

Mundane March

In the streets

Garbage trucks move

Spilling trash on sideways

Where you stand

For lights to turn green

All the while cars splash

Mud from the ditch

Where frogs croak loudest

Looking at clouds

Fearing from thunder

That billow sooty grime

That chokes you

Chokes you till your

Face turns red

But oblivious to your plight

Indifferent crowd marches

A slow death march towards

Daily mundane routine

Work and office work and office and

You take cue and do the same

Like puppet in string followed

By gesture of master

Chasing a mirage of oasis

And after everything is

Said and done finally

you reach home

where Light bulb turns on

And you forget

Forget everything

Courage (old writing from 2011)

Long day is over. With looming darkness the tranquility blanketed the land. And with every passing moment small bright stars started to appear as a tiny dots on celestial sphere. And surreptitiously once azure sky transitioned to crimson and finally settled for dark gossamer of bright specks. Meanwhile the persistent screeches of silence were briefly being punctuated by crashing of waves on the rocks below. Thus the amalgam of monotony simply gave ample alibi for tired eyelids to relax upon already tired eyes.  All of sudden in the half light a silhouette appeared and brandishing the courage that no scimitar can cut through, spoke in crisp, terse and authoritarian manner “Here I am! Kill your emperor if you wish.”  The hortatory challenge impugned the loyalty of the entire troops and in no time the thunderous echo akin to heavy dose of caffeine commandeered the half sleep. And without further a do they all caved in, yelling at the top of their voice “Vive L'Emperur!”.  And thus Napoleon marched into Paris, unseated Louie XVII and ruled for next 100 days until he met his Waterloo.

In this day and age the courage as such is an endangered species. The most courageous thing that anyone has done seems to be eating some disgusting worms to win a stupid competition on Fear factor. And these sickly acts are triumphed in TV station as if it parallels to Hercules killing the Stymphalian birds. It is lamentable that the entire world is simply pursuing a transitory spike in tv ratings and the length people go for grabbing 15 minutes of fame is simply appalling. The best exhibit is balloon boy in America to Anuja Baniya in Nepal. Is media culprit? Of course but equally culpable is the viewers whose insatiable hunger for consuming shocking news has reduced once proud field of journalism into laughing stock. And with all the shenanigans of whether News of the World tapping into the phones of the victims of London Bombing or ESPN’s ridiculous coverage of Lebron James’s big decision one thing is for sure, every unimaginable event has in public eye become quite blasé.   

After going through the plots detailing Napoleonic wars written in old, yellow, dust covered pages from my mother’s diary I realized how awesome it might have been to live through that era, when valor and bravery were considered as an act of honor and when people lived and died by that word. It made me feel that the vanity that we protrude today is puerile in front of those valors of yester years.  History books, literature and ancient text all are all filled with the stories of warriors and kings that went through great lengths of suffering to reach greater heights.     

Courage always reminds me of that famous line from Lord Tennyson’s Lotus eater:

                “COURAGE!” he said, and pointed toward the land,

“This mounting wave will roll us shoreward soon.”

In the afternoon they came unto a land

In which it seemed always afternoon.

This line has several meanings. Of course one implies reaching the paradise where sun never sets. It is a beautiful analogy for prosperity. But reaching that Shangri-La requires courage; courage so big that it can overcome any rising tide that can drift us far from it. 

Cursory glances of my eyes then shifted through all the succeeding republics and settled on lines narrating the establishment of Paris Commune which till this date is idealized by leftist all over the world as perfect manifestation of cradle to grave utopian socialism. The fact further emphasized in Nepali media when in middle of heightened rhetoric our own comrade Badal told the uproarious crowd in Baneshwor that the ultimate goal of Maoist is to establish the Kathmandu commune and on doing so he underscored  an unwavering, unfaltering and unshakeable courage . But alas! All of sudden my animation was broken with shrill cry from surrounding and dogs barking everywhere. And before I could make up anything the ground shook violently and my reflexes immediately understood that it was an earthquake. And eating my pride and swallowing all the courage I ran to the safer grounds. Certainly courage can be romantic in literature but slightest jest of Mother nature can wipe the smugness of so called courageous bunch .  

Critical Analysis on Dr. Baburam Bhattarai's recent lecture on Underdevelopment of Nepal in Tribhuwan University

Had an opportunity to go through the  former Prime Minister Dr. Bhattarai's lecture at Tribhuwan University entitled "THE NATURE OF UNDERDEVELOPMENT & REGIONAL STRUCTURE OF NEPAL: A Marxist Analysis"(http://www.slideshare.net/slideshow/embed_code/37144918#). His exposition on persisting stubborn underdevelopment of Nepal in context of Neo-Marxist theory of movement of surplus value from the periphery towards centre was really succinct and lucid. Being a staunch supporter of Austrian School of Economics  I was rather surprised by his  accurate assessment of poverty in Nepal from Marxist point of view. Especially in his slides he has clearly pointed out that the major economic hurdle Nepal faces is asymmetric trade between India and Nepal since the Sugauli Treaty. The historical reference he has provided regarding the balanced trade Nepal had between both Tibet and India before the Anglo-Nepal war is something every policy maker should heed to. Apparently in both ancient and medieval time Nepal had a vibrant economic trade with both its neighbor. During the time of Sino Chinese war in 18th century Nepal was so powerful that she even decreed Tibet to use our sovereign coins for trade.

 But today's circumstances are completely different. Compared to volume of trade with southern block our trade with northern neighbor is a morsel. Dr. Bhattarai has correctly  pointed to this trade disparity as one of the major obstacle in country's development. He has also pointed out the concentration of workers from all over the countries to major cities such as Kathmandu, Biratnagar and Birgunj as the leading cause of inequitable growth. Besides these two major concerns in his lecture also notes the diminishing marginal return in agricultural sector as another aspect militating against the equitable development. And finally in a very last slide he provides his prescription to break free from vicious spiral of poverty in a trifecta- Federalism, Balance trade  and Inclusive Development. But unfortunately he simply list them out and stop short from providing the proper road map to achieve them.

And this is the point where I think he fails to deliver in his otherwise brilliant lecture. The first issue is of course the most contentious one: Fedralism. He hasn't mentioned on what basis should the lines of federalism be drawn. Further he completely glossed over the political malfeasance  that has so far plagues the entire issue. There is no denying that federalism the only way out from preventing wealth being concentrated only in urban centers, but until the argument of whether using geographical or ethnic basis as criteria for drawing federal map is resolved this issue will remain in limbo. Of course it is really easier said than done. And even after it get solved the other issues such as tariff barriers, state level taxes and equitable sharing of natural resources will undoubtly require extensive exercise before fruits of federalism can be reaped.

As for balancing trade with our neighbor goes this I think will remain a pipe dream until the feeling of enmity between both our neighbors get sorted out. And this of course is beyond our capacity. But that doesn't mean there is nothing we can do. In fact there are few things we can do in our home front. The first thing is trying to make Nepalese currency convertible in India. Second is to make Yuwan fully convertible in Nepal. One other effective option will be instead of fixed peg with Indian Rupees, a new peg should be  establish  with basket of Indian rupees and chinese yuwan, Further currently there is undercurrent brewing in SAARC region to establish single currency governed by same monetary policy. This idea though far-fetched can be very good for Nepal as trying to maintain fixed rate vis a vis India and independent monetary policy , we are witnessing large capital flight as predicted by Impossible Trinity of Mundell-Fleming model. But again the entire premise still hinges on the effective diplomacy. However one encouraging note in this front is establishment of BRICS bank of which both India and China are members. Nepal will need to leverage this new opportunity with skillful shuttle diplomacy in order to bring in capital which unlike the investment from world bank won't be objected by both our neighbor.

Finally the third point Inclusive Development can be achieved only by grass root level movement of increasing local skill and literacy rate. Instead of resorting into populist Affirmative action program, the policy should address towards increasing the core competency level of ethnic minorities. A gramin bank model of financial institution should be established that provides small capital without collateral to women, ethnic minorities, marginalized groups in order to promote small entrepeneurship.

Despite these short comings in his lecture everyone should laud Dr. Bhattarai's trail blazing attempt of sharing his experience with students. Let's hope this prelude will create a knoweledge sharing culture which will be nurtured and in future other policy makers and politicians will also engage in such endeavors.

World Cup and Escapism

After almost a month long festivities, 20th edition of world cup has finally come to an end. And by the early hour of tomorrow a new champion will be crowned thus relegating it to the history books . During this world cup many records were broken both on the pitch and the outside. The match between Brazil and Germany generated most number of tweets. Miroslav Klose became the highest scorer of all time. Neymar broke his back. Some of the underdogs like Costa Rica, Algeria challenged the notion that football is not only the game of elite teams. England  and Portugal kept up its perennial wont of being over hype wind bags by crashing out early.  Meanwhile Portugal cemented their legacy of being chokers. Biggest surprise was of course Spain and total demise of tiki-takka football. On the other hand United State's on again and off again love affair with soccer that seem to rekindle periodically in every four years again surfaced. But this time perhaps alarmed due to high ESPN's rating, right wing commentator Ann Coulter went on vile diatribe against football in general calling it the cultural and moral decadence in American in general. She is entitled to her opinion whatever they may be.  And perhaps most sadly a girl in Nepal killed herself when Brazil lost.

But now as the extravaganza draws close so does this month long escapism or should we rather say a spell of  mass hypnosis. During this period unbeknownst to most so many things happened:  Iraq is falling towards Muslim state with rise of ISIS, Israel and Palestine has gone to war again, Germany has expelled CIA chief , there is  brewing crisis in Ukraine and in our  own home front uncertainty in budget and politics as usual. So question may  arise amidst all these real world problem does the world cup taking center stage is really justifiable? Are we being too narrow minded and selfish that we seem to be oblivion to suffering of our fellow human beings and are too absorbed on absurd notion of who might score a next goal? Doesn't the sport being the major issue has really subjugated us to level of Proles in Orwellian Society?

Well the answer may depend on who you ask.  For me personally answer is no. No, the world cup is not  the distraction and neither is it a escapism. Instead it is the celebration of human virtue. It is the embodiment of all the goodness of mankind, amalgam of human spirit that brings in people of diverse culture irrespective of their cast, creed, ethnicity, sexual orientation, racial background to one common purpose and one common goal. It is a sublime demonstration of brotherhood, helping your team mate, showing courage in front of despair and fight for glory fair and square.

The world has been always divided place. Everything from religion, politics to geographical lines have separated the people and will continue far away in future as well.  But amidst all this the world cup gives a chance, a simple glimmer of hope that in the heart we all are same. We all harbor same hopes and aspiration to be happy and to live life at fullest. And if some moralist accuse us of this as escapism then let it be. Because we all need a short break.

World Cup Mania

World Cup mania is like falling head over heels in love. You lose your sleep and your appetite. You can't think rationally, your head hurts, your work suffer, your professional and personal life suffer. All you can do is ponder upon results , feel ecstatic when your team wins, fall into abyss of despair when they lose. It is a month long whirlwind of romance that brings you joy, pain ,happiness, make you light headed, clear headed ,  make your heart beat go faster and break your heart again and again.

And after month long dizziness she (world cup ) leaves you. She will leave you  behind in the same state of despair as before to the same old boring routine. You feel jilted, dejected and spurned. You feel as if a part of you is gone. And despite the pain and loneliness you can't let go of her. You look forward to meeting her again and again in next four years. You wait for her, you long for her and waiting is all you can do because she is your one true love.

Damn you world cup for ruining everything.