Tuesday, July 9, 2013

Floating among Floaters

As Sai became disenchanted by not being able to persuade Gyan to abandon his Gorkhaland movement and Father Booty got extradited from Skkim ; all the anecdotal plots suddenly became too tortuous to follow. A feeling arose that instead of reading “Inheritance of Loss” I should have been rather watching the episode of LOST which by the way was left in cliff hanger at 5th  season’s  episode three with Jack and company stuck in 1973 at Dharma Camp. But the idea of watching DVD vanished into thin air when cruel realization of looming load shedding that will turn my Tv dead for next 4 hours hit my mind.


 Disaffected by what seemed like the never ending energy crisis, I contrived to take siesta under greatest energy source of all, the sun. With insolation that had fallen to minimum due to approaching winter solstice accompanied by chilly wind, the sun god remain unkind. But still it was warm enough for my skin to kick in a feedback mechanism that eventually released enough melanin to act like natural sunscreen. With increased melatonin in my blood, magic started to take place inside the hypothalamus producing the hallucinogenic incidence of uncontrollable sleep. All of sudden as if being under the spell of that green angel Absinthe my mind delve into the uncharted peaks of Kanchanjunga. And before I knew, I was inside the booker prize wining novel floating along the mist surrounding Cho Oyu akin to when Alice went through that looking glass. The dampness in surrounding air and the musk of oak woods in library were as tangible as it really could be. I could clearly discern the scattered pages of national geographic strewn haphazardly on the table.  Meanwhile the mutt was also lying under the chair of judge. And unexpectedly, as if sensing my presence it began to bark on the top of the voice.  As if dragged by some intractable and unforeseen force I was pulled apart from majestic of Sikkim and suddenly found myself lying prone on my terrace. The usual suspect for the misdemeanor was Rocky barking at top of his voice spurred by no good street children making cat calls towards it.


Acquiescently I turned over yelled at the mutt on top of my voice. Hearing my remonstration, he quickly whimpered and stretched his legs to take a nap. And before I knew, it began snoring, a typical “ swana nidra”. As for me, akin to taking heavy doses of caffeine, my sleep   was lost to oblivion and what left behind was shred of temptation to again witness the grandeur of Cho Oyu. I longed for the Lucid dream. The class of dream that was pioneered by Frederik van Eeden, where one can control the flow of dream and do what one pleases to do. I myself have been fortunate to experience such dreams few times before, even out of body experience and believe me experiencing it is real fun. For instance many years ago, once in middle of one of my dream I suddenly realized that I have a power to control it, and not wanting to lose the golden opportunity I floated to place where the girl I had crush on lived and I kept on chatting with her as if there was no tomorrow. But the sad thing is that was probably the longest and perhaps the most memorable conversation I ever had with her. So my advice is if there ever is happenstance of experiencing it, then cherish it forever. But unfortunately experiencing it is not like calling a cab; it is more analogous to finding a gold mine in your backyard. Some say meditating before going to sleep can induce larger frequency of lucid dreams, but in middle of day after having lunch I was in no mood for meditating. So, abandoning all hopes of floating inside the book, I turned supine.


All of sudden something caught my eye. Up in the azure sky where clouds floated aimlessly, something else was also moving in random.  Like beads of iridescent speck it glided to and fro, bulk of intangible unidentified flying objects. More I tried to focus on it harder it became to isolate it. As if obeying the Heisenberg’s Uncertainty principle, that states electron’s position and momentum simultaneously cannot be computed precisely without compromising one another thus nullifying the possibility of existence of absolute zero, the floaters were also irresolute and there appeared no absolute rest. After a while I came to realization that Brownian motion was actually being exhibited by nothing else but dead cells floating in aqueous humor and owing to diffraction of sun light around its periphery all the shimmering was being manifested. So much for the romantics of UFO. This is what science has led us to, a world devoid of innocence where floating in dream is relegated to movement of dead cells and dreams like Gorkhaland and Utopia is subverted to cruel reality of subsistence.

Monday, June 17, 2013

How Human Decide

There are three level of decision making i) Instinct ii) Emotion and iii) Logic
These three qualities came through evolution. In lower life forms instinct can be witnessed. Even sponges and coelenterates have that characteristics.
Emotion meanwhile comes only in higher vertebrates starting from Aves and is entrenched in mammals. Logic however can be seen only in man with exception of dolphins and apes.

So question arise which one is best? Of course the answer is logic. But it is not as powerful as emotion. That’s why politicians play with emotion, we vote with emotion. Words like hope and change jingles in our ears and blind sights us. When reality sinks in logic takes over, but its too late


But this doesn't mean we all become a robot and be slave of logic. But at least we can try not be entrapped by emotion.


And of course there is something that encompass all three and which we though claim, we never have and it is called "compassion". Something only god possesses.

Lets hope we evolve from logical and emotional being to compassionate being someday.

Thursday, June 6, 2013

Shadows and Charade

In the candle light
On the wall
Shadow lingers
Playing charade

A guessing game
With little clues
And sleight of hands
Moving parade

Mute shapes
Screams and laughs
Triumphs and struggles
Deafening dread

The world of shadows
Forms and crumbles
Like a bubble
On riverbed


Full of irony
Shadows dances
Till it disappears
As candle fade

In the candle light
On the wall
Shadow lingers
Playing charade


Friday, May 17, 2013

Riddles and Rhymes


She asked in riddle
and I answered in rhyme
She asked in riddle
and I answered in rhyme
she asked what does  the setting sun says
and I answered time has come
for shadows to go home
she asked why do tears always roll down
and I answered because rivers have
 to flow towards the south
she asked why do clouds drift aimlessly
and I answered because little do they know
they have to fall down as rain

She spoke in riddle
and I reasoned in rhyme
She spoke in riddle
and I reasoned in rhyme
she spoke life is constant ebb and flow
and I reasoned there's always
 moon to pull the tide
she spoke war is won and peace is lost
and I reasoned god is in his slumber
and love is forsaken
she spoke dreams are murky and nightmares are vivid
and I reasoned rainbow rises only during the rain

I asked in riddle and
She reasoned in rhyme
I asked in riddle and
She reasoned in rhyme
I asked should our path of
endearment take leap of faith
And she reasoned sometimes
Road less traveled is
less traveled for reason

Wistful Trash Can


The door that you never opened
and the door that I never closed
opens up the vault of abyss
that traps the echoes of past
loneliness of present and
longings of future into a colloidal
amalgam of  a ketchup
squeezed into a trash can.

The book that you never read
and the book that I never wrote
creates a fiction of memory
with a narrative of error where
Satan and God trade their
places and saints and sinners tear
away the pages which are
dumped into a trash can.

The song that you never listened
and the song that I never sang
plays a melody of emotion with
the destructive beat of drums
which forays into heartache
that lumbers to and fro
resonating the din of
slamming into a trash can

The road that you never took
and the road that I never left
led into a meandering trail of
misty forest where sun hid
under the canopy and the darkness
opened into the glade of deception
packaged in a wrapper of garbage
thrown into a trash can

The words that you never heard
and the words I never spoke
Recited a poetry of comedy
with vision of paradise whose gates
adorned by the warning sign
beware of dog scribbled on
the tarnished tin plate
corroded into a trash can

The door that you never opened
and the door that I never closed
opens up the vault of abyss
that traps the echoes of past
loneliness of present and
longings of future into a colloidal
amalgam of  a ketchup
squeezed Into a trash can.

Saturday, February 23, 2013

From the Porch that Overlooks the Zoo




The lines read “Winding road in the desert was unending. My mouth was totally parched and a tranquil lake in front beckoned. I ran across sand dunes only to find it to turn into a bloody mirage. And alas! I woke up profusely sweating. It was a nightmare. Again! ”.  My first impression was little Miss Barbara Holmes was too much caught up in Twilight movies and her writing style though very persuasive was still bit childish, which was of course natural considering her to be just around fourteen and studying in ninth grade. She pressed me on to give my opinion and I said it was really good piece and complimented her by further adding that she has all the geniuses to be a great writer in future. Her face blushed and eyes sparkled with my comments. She became so ecstatic that she nearly overturned the hot cup of tea and upset few saccharine cubes into the parqueted floor which eventually induced swarm of ants to creep up through the small cracks thus invading the entire wooden cabin. All the racket however didn’t seem to have any effect on the vultures in cage below. They looked stoic and were somber as usual.


 I ran into Barbara at the Café Sundae which adjacents the zoo. The place is newly renovated house that boasts a fine porch which overlooks the bird section. With its low arch and wall engraved with fine stucco punctuated by beautiful murals the entire place is exquisite. Besides, the straw roof and hanging rafter that nested bevy of little swifts, gave the picturesque room a dose of inexplicable irony. At the end of the corner a low recliner stood, lying on which one could glance into the bird cages below that stretches to the far west corner where a dark silhouette of large Ostrich lumbered to and fro. As I spoke, hundreds of birds under the captivity, on a futile attempt to break free, were flying within the cage in Sisyphean manner. Inside one of the cage a starling was peering out venting a melancholy air perhaps with longing of murmuration, meanwhile nearby a golden pheasant was stoking a twig probably looking for some left over grains. Being a Sunday afternoon the place was not that crowded but it still harbored enough yelp and cries of little children to perturb the roosting aves. And in the middle of all there stood a tree with its overbearing nonchalance towards captive birds. It was showing no emotions and exhibited same countenance as it had shown several years before.

As I was watching the scenes unfold, Barbara and two of her friends Jason and Alexa entered the room. Jason, a freckled face boy holding a crib of A4 size paper, screamed at top of his voice pointing at bald eagle-“Look at that grumpy old fellow “. Alexa, a girl with braided hair and pointed nose, who seemed to be his sister, admonished him not to scream in front of strangers all the while squinting towards me. Meanwhile Barbara, a tall blonde girl with blue eyes glanced around indifferently and quickly reclined into a nearby couch followed by her friends. All three children were carrying textbooks and had a school bag with them. A waiter came along and took order for some junk food consisting of Nachos and Cheese Burger and they started to chatter again. With the presence of three kids the solitude I was looking for disappeared and place turned into a bedlam. In particular Jason was using a lot of colorful languages and was swearing at Earnest Hemingway for writing such a story as “Big Two hearted river”. Even Alexa who was disapproving of his behavior nodded and interjected saying-”How the hell a guy fishing relates to disenchantment towards war?” Being a huge Hemingway fan I couldn’t tolerate three snotty kids ripping him like that and proceeded to explain to them “Iceberg theory’  which was completely against my grain. The kids were astonished at first. They might have found it weird that some stranger lecturing them on English literature but after a while they came around and became friendlier.   


I learned that they were actually students at Lincoln school and were children of some diplomatic attaché at US embassy. Apparently, they were doing an assignment on creative writing which included an essay on Hemingway and in addition a short story of their own. They were at the café trying to get some fresh air that can stimulate their mind allowing the creative juices to flow. Upon my imploring they showed me the manuscript of text they have so far written. Alexa had written a story about a city girl trapped in the enchanted Dolce shoe that she bought in Wal-Mart. The narrative was fantastic but suffered from many plot holes. On the other hand Jason had written about a mercenary sent by CIA to fight Bolivarian Intelligence at Barquisimeto, who later is jailed in Carcasses. His knowledge of geography of the country particularly Andes Mountains, was impressive and without my further inquisition he told me that he had been to Venezuela several times accompanying his father and has even shaken hands with Hugo Chavez. Perhaps, future Fredrick Forsyth I pondered. Barbara, meanwhile was a shy girl. She was reluctant to show me her writing but upon everyone’s insistence finally she gave me her story. With her high cheek bone and large eyes she reminded me of someone I used to knew. Her cursive handwriting was beautiful and the best thing of her writing was proper use of punctuation mark. And the frame narrative she used is not something you get to read in contemporary literature.


Creative writing can be a daunting experience for anyone. To let your imagination run wild and at same to have a rein of control is akin to stepping on two boats, syncretizing which requires a skill that only few possess. It is said that through the means of creative writing one can gaze into others mind. For instance in Virginia tech massacre, Seung-Hui Cho, the psycho who perpetrated the heinous crime is said to have written several menacing essays that delineated his troubled mind and in the hind sight of the tragedy many of his teachers and peers were disappointed for not seeing the warning signs. Coincidentally Barbara’s story, entitled “Nightmare again’ also detailed all the blood and gore, despite that it didn’t occur to me at all, that she too had cultivated misanthropic tendencies. But in that surrounding the thought that all the lowlights in the society are at large while freedom loving birds were caged was a night mare indeed.  


As the food was brought in, all three of them jumped into the plate gobbling it up with total disregard to the manner, thus abruptly bringing an end to our deliberation in English literature. Kids being just kids I guessed. I too lost interest and again started to look towards the zoo. I saw a little boy being accompanied by his parents watching intently at jackdaws. Nearby a young couple were lost in their own world oblivious to the surrounding. Entire circle of life could be witnessed in that single frame. Kid comes to zoo with his parents, later with his girlfriend and afterwards with his own kid. And the birds are simply ancillary that becomes part and parcel of it. All the while the tree watches everything without passing any judgments. Just like it did in distant past, when a swing was attached to it and someone beautiful was swaying in the wind with the entire majestic. Believe me it was not a nightmare.

Monday, February 18, 2013

Ephemeral joy


You and I sat across the pond
Throwing pebbles into water
Unbeknownst of its fate
Making fleeting ripples
That took shape
Shape of heart,
Shape of joy and shape of hope

The ripples cut through silently
Making circles, interspersing each other
Dissolving into each other.
 With aim to reach the shore but
Retreating without sound

But now water has dried and the pebbles ran out
You and I still seat across the pond  
 without ripple without shape
with only debris of broken dreams left behind.